Not Helpful 4 Helpful 33. You may not get exactly what you want, but the outcome should be fair for both parties. By identifying where and when you have acted in the same manner, it calms down extreme degrees of self-righteousness and denial. High emotions can make people irrational. Suggest a correction. This space will give you time to think about the argument and your emotions.
When you return, maintain an even tone of voice and ask the person open-ended questions to understand their point of view. You're also inviting him or her to check in and see if an emotional upset or physical discomfort is affecting your interaction.
This video has some great examples of how this all works together.
Don't try to do this for more serious arguments, like family or relationship problems, and don't use to it avoid talking about tough issues. Not Helpful 0 Helpful 9. To quote The Little Prince , "Words are the source of misunderstandings," and it's absolutely true.
Keep in mind that a person who always argues with you and makes you feel bad probably isn't the best type of person to surround yourself with, so it would be best to avoid this person if possible. If the topic is a heavy one, or you know that you might feel defensive in some way, focus, not on the uncomfortable feelings, but instead on the connection that you share with the other person and how much you care for them. For more tips on calming the other person down, read on!
So if you feel like you're heading for an argument, or you find yourself getting angry, stop for a moment and ask yourself if you're reacting to a feeling of loss instead. Where and when have you acted, stated, or believed in a same or similar manner? Simply allow things to be and allow the other person to process whatever they need to process. Practice active listening and avoid interrupting the other person.
Ask them politely to stop. Find help or get online counseling now. You should remember that it is a personality disorder. Maximum growth and development occurs at the border of similarities and differences, supports and challenges, agreements and disagreements.